Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Are we there yet?

Is it Spring Break yet? 

I am utterly exhausted......

March, though it be my beloved birthday month, is always the most exhausting month of the school year. There are no breaks within the 31 days and the seasonal change from winter to spring results in both students and teachers feeling those first pangs of summer longing. 

My seniors have lost all motivation and my patience with their lackadaisical attitudes is wearing thin. At times I almost feel betrayed. I have put in over a year and a half of work with these guys preparing them for their IB exams and now that we are reaching our last month together, they have completely given up. It makes me feel almost used, as if the only reason they were paying attention to me at all was just a means to an end. Although.....now that I reflect upon it, isn't that what high school represents anyway? A means to an end?

But what is the point of coming to school at all if you "don't care about your exam grades"? Why don't we just stop teaching seniors once they get accepted into university? Or rather, why can't universities just accept students later in the year to maximize their learning time in secondary school? They do realize how detrimental their acceptance letters are to high school teachers right? Right...?

Sometimes I honestly just feel like throwing in the towel. Of course I won't though. I wish I could, but I just can't do it. I'm not a quitter because I consider myself to be particularly moralistic but rather it is because I am too stubborn. Even if I am reading a book that is boring me to tears, I have to finish it. I just can't "stop" doing something. I can't quit. I feel like it would make me weak. I would rather suffer through an endless task than quit quickly and painlessly. Saying that out loud makes me sound rather sadistic, but I've known for many years that it is just part of my nature. Though I would be lying if I said I didn't want to check out and kick my feet up and not pay attention in class. I have much more important and valuable things to do too -- like travel and work out and write and read and cook. 

So why do I do it? Why do I push myself to teach students who don't want to learn? Why do I continue to care when my students no longer do? 

Because I am a teacher....
(and failure is not an option)


Student brought in these glasses.....I just had to.......





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