A Little Poetry

I still cannot believe that the sun continues to shine.

That the sky still stands resiliently blue.

Despite the change in seasons,

The change in thoughts,

And views.

(Poetry is clearly on my mind.)

What inspires me?

My students are a constant source of inspiration.

To continue learning,

To continue the fight,

To write,

To read,

To question my assumptions.

They inspire me to find the truth

(in everything).

Recently my mind has been consumed with thoughts. Thoughts of returning home to Boston after months of separation. Will my friends have forgotten me or learned to live without me? Will I still make an impact? Will I still remember where I’m going? Will I still be funny? Will I still be relevant?

I am a different person today than I was four months ago.

I’m not sure exactly how, but I feel it in my bones.

I’m

Stronger.

Healthier.

More confident.

More independent.

Our lives are defined by the choices we make. Not just the big decisions (like my decision to say yes to life and accept a spontaneous job offer to come work as a single female in Saudi Arabia), but the decisions we make every minute of every day.

Every day I make the conscious choice to go to the gym, to work out and to eat well. Occasionally, I’ll make a bad choice or a bad decision (like eating an entire jar of Nutella), but it’s still my decision – I alone am accountable for my actions.

Over these past few weeks I’ve been learning more and more about the “fitness obsessed” community out there in the world and it has become a new source of inspiration for me. Blogs and websites and books about living healthily are drawing my interest and I cannot stop consuming information. I’m not striving to lose weight or do a hundred push-ups, no, not at all. What I’m striving for is pure and uncontaminated well-being. Not just physical, but spiritual, emotional and intellectual wellness.

Recently I've noticed that I've been watching less television and logging in more hours at the gym. I've been enjoying eating as opposed to just eating because I’m supposed to or because I feel like it. I've been finding meaning in my workouts as opposed to just doing them because "I have to". 

I don’t have all the answers, and I am still very much figuring out “who I am”, but because I am now truly on my own, I feel much more conscious and aware of my life and decisions I make.  I am so grateful to have this time in my life to have these thoughts, explore new things and create new experiences. So few people, women especially, have the privilege to just LIVE their lives selfishly and by their own rules. 

Though I may be living in one of the most repressive and restrictive countries in the world, my mind has never felt more liberated. 

Elementary students dressed up for UN Day 

The sun shines on freedom