Year Two in the Kingdom

My second year living and working in Saudi Arabia has begun so much more quickly than I could have imagined. I landed in Riyadh a little over a month ago and since then I have been working non-stop. In that short span of time I have only had one weekend to myself. Every other weekend has been jam-packed with professional development, welcome-back parties, embassy events and other social gatherings. I feel energized, inspired and enthusiastic but now that a four-day weekend approaches, I am beginning to finally realize how exhausted I've truly been. 

My summer was wonderful and refreshing. It went by too fast and I barely conquered a third of the goals I had set for myself at the start of the season, but I have no regrets. I spent some well-needed (and well-deserved, if I may say so myself) quality time with friends and family. I travelled, I made impulsive decisions and I allowed myself to take advantage of all the freedoms and opportunities that presented themselves to me. I didn't hold back and I allowed myself to feel good and enjoy my life. 

Now that I'm back in Riyadh I will admit that things do feel slightly different. The honeymoon haze has worn off slightly and I've found myself growing frustrated with certain aspects of my life here. I am really resentful of my inability to get around by myself. I am frustrated by the fact that I can never just "go out". Everything in my life must be planned and organized in advance. As a result, I must be in much more control than is desirable. I have no impulsivity in my life, nor do I have the chance to just enjoy the present moment because I am constantly thinking ahead about all the things I need to do and plan. 

Professionally -- I am feeling great! With a year of teaching here under my belt I feel much more confident in myself and my abilities. I am more familiar with the curriculum and the students in general. I know what to do to push them and I know when I need to hold back. I have pre-established relationships with students that allow me to do my job a lot more effectively. I can depend on certain students to help me plan events (a necessity due to the fact that I am now the Student Council advisor) and I have a handful of students I can look to in each of my classes to ensure that everyone is happy and working hard. It is very comforting and I feel very grateful to be at a school like this.  My colleagues are incredibly supportive, hard-working and inspirational. I genuinely believe that this is one of the greatest English departments in the world. We are all young, enthusiastic about literature and genuinely positive people. I cannot praise my co-workers enough. I don't feel like I'm being watched or scrutinized or evaluated every two seconds. I am trusted not only by my students, but by my administrators and parents. It is a tremendous feeling and one that sadly very few teachers get to experience.

Socially I have set some small goals for myself...I would like to attempt to ingratiate myself into the Saudi community. I would like to forge meaningful friendships with Saudi men and especially women. I'd like to establish a life for myself outside of school. I'm currently looking into opportunities to do volunteer work at hospitals or potentially at women's shelters (a pipe-dream, I doubt a Western women would be able to gain access to such "forbidden" places). I would also like to try and see if I could join a women's gym. Again, it may be very difficult for me to gain access to such restricted places, but I am going to do my best and use my limited resources and means to try and achieve these goals. 

A Call to Action

I have just turned over the last page of Jonathan Kozol's book, The Shame of the Nation. A powerful narrative about the inequality and injustices present in American society -- specifically with regards to our public education system.

I feel....inspired.
I want to write, talk, debate, fight, advocate and speak up.

I feel....helpless.
What am I doing about this? What knowledge do I have? What expertise do I possess about a matter this profound and important and significant? What can I possibly contribute to the cause? What difference can I make?

I feel....guilty.
I left my students in Chelsea. I left to pursue a better life and opportunity for myself. There was still so much work left for me to do there...

I feel...confident.
Though I now teach at a private international school in the Middle East, I know that I am a good teacher. I love my job, I love my students. I am successful, I am well liked and I am an effective teacher. My students are able to learn from me and make strides in their learning. I go above and beyond the requirements of me as a a mere "teacher" and I pour my entire heart and soul into my work. 

I feel....powerful.
I will return to the United States some day. I will make a difference and I will not allow my country to continue to bury these underprivileged children into the ground. I will come back some day and fight for them. I just need to build myself up a little bit more: financially, emotionally and intellectually. I will return to the United States stronger than ever.


I have always said that my heart got left in Saudi Arabia years ago as a child. Now that I have moved back to the desert, I feel whole again. I feel complete. I am happier than I have ever been and I feel as though I am doing meaningful and fulfilling work. Teaching is by no means an easy job. I come home every day after school exhausted and stressed, but never have I felt as though I ever "wasted" a day. Regardless of how draining a day I have,  I always feel as though I have accomplished some thing. It may not necessarily be particularly poignant, but small gains are what keep me going as an educator. Small joys + small successes = big overall gains.

Kozol's book left me thinking deeply about myself and my life. I have always believed that I was put here on this planet to make a difference in some way. I often talk about how I feel destined for greatness. While immersed in the pages of Kozol's direct and vivid prose, I could imagine myself as a lawyer, a senator, a congresswoman, a policy maker, an advocate, a principal, a civil rights activist....I saw myself fighting against "the system" and writing articles, expose, proposals, grants, bills and books aimed at making a difference and overturning the American public system of education. I began to think about what I would need to do to make these dreams become realities:

I would need to go to grad school. Get a Masters in Educational and Social Policy and then turn that Masters in a Ed.D. I would then need to go to law school. I would then need to get a job working for a educational or public policy think tank. I would need to get a publisher. I would need to make connections.

The ideas just won't stop bubbling up to the surface.

I realize that this mode of thinking is fueled by pure adrenaline. I am in "summer mode" and my judgement is clouded by the superficial sense of ease and freedom I have now that I am not working. I am a dreamer. As much as the idea of giving up my comfortable teaching life to enter the world of policy making appeals to me right now, I cannot say with complete conviction that this is something I am going to actually do. Its exciting to imagine that alternative life for myself. Its exciting to think that I very easily could give up my teaching career in Saudi and move back to Boston and attend graduate school in the hopes of landing a job as a policy maker. I already have connections in the educational policy world of Massachusetts.

So what is stopping me? Why aren't I compelled by a sense of duty and purpose to give up my comfortable teaching life and work as an educational policy activist?

Why?

Why do I always make the safe choice? Why do I take the easy way out? Why don't I take more risks? It's not that I'm fearful of failure....what is it? I don't consider myself to be particularly timid. On the contrary, I am always among the first of my friends to try new things, put myself out there and take the first step into a new venture. So why am I so resistant to giving up this happy, successful and "safe" life for work that could potentially change the world?

Fear of disappointing others? Myself?

I am trying to be as open and hones with myself as possible, but I genuinely cannot see the answer to this question. I cannot get past my mental defenses and see what is truly motivating me and my decisions. Am I allowing myself to continue driving forward or am I beginning to take my foot off the gas and settle into cruise control? Not yet, I tell myself, not yet. There are still miles to go and rubber to burn before I let myself settle for anything!

I Did It!!!!!

As of 4 pm yesterday I officially finished my first year of teaching in an international school! 

My third year of teaching total!

Three years down, a lifetime to go...

My "countdown" since the start of the year....
(Not like I was impatient or anything)
I still can't believe its actually been a year!

Exams and Essays ALL GRADED!!!!
This took me about 4 days of tireless reading and marking through the night to achieve...

I feel so happy right now. I'm simply elated. No words can even begin to describe how happy and calm and "at peace" I feel right now. It is done. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I'm done. 

These past few weeks have been excruciatingly exhausting. The weeks and days leading up to the Prom (May 31st)  found me sleepless, appetite-less and utterly restless as I ran around organizing, leading, planning, paying, painting and gluing the pieces of "the biggest event of the year" together. Though I was incredibly stressed, the event went on without a hitch. The students were happy, the administration was happy and I was happy that it was finally over! Prom was absolutely beautiful and I couldn't have been more proud of the students who stood by my side and dreamed this entire thing into life. As much as I complained and agonized about this responsibility in private to my friends and family, it made me feel so good to help make my students' dreams come true. 

Prom Set Up....the magic begins....

Students arriving to Prom...in, you know, their Ferrari's and things....

A Night to Remember......(8 Months to Plan)

Once prom was over I thought my life would finally regain some sense of normalcy, but no. Then came exams. 

And then came a cheating scandal.

Long story short: one of my sneaky tenth grade students discovered a folder of mine in which I had placed the answers to the ninth grade exam (let me first of all say that I never make answer keys for this very reason, but the English teaching substitute I work with asked me to make one to help her mark the exam). Within a mere second the student took out his phone, snapped a picture of the answers and sent it off to his ninth grade girlfriend who proceeded to distribute the answers to practically the entire grade.  We caught three of the cheaters red-handed on the day of the exam (they had brought little cheat sheets into the exam room with them) and, through tireless investigating on the part of the high school principals, have identified several more students who were involved in this major breach of the school's honor policy. 

It was an incredibly painful ordeal. Painful for me because at first I felt a tremendous amount of guilt (thinking that I should have had the answer key locked in my desk instead of on top of my desk) and then after I accepted that it was not my fault, my principal tells me that he discovered at least five other subject exams that had been compromised! Though I realize that shouldn't have made me "feel better" it did help me take the blame off myself.  Clearly these students were on a mission...

After that first day, I felt frustrated and angry; not just for the inconvenience of having to re-write the exam and make every ninth grader re-take it, but for the stress and anguish this put so many of my sweet and honest students through. Each of them were interrogated like criminals (ironic considering my last place of employment) and made to feel guilty for not coming forward with information before the exam took place. Now I do not condone their behavior by any means, and I am very disappointed that many of my most trusted and mature students did not come forward, but I also remember what it was like to be fourteen and how terrifying it is to think that you could get in trouble for just speaking up. For the past few days I have had at least ten different students in my room crying (both boys and girls). Crying about the stress this has caused them, the fear of punishment, the fear of getting bullied, the guilt of not speaking up....Though cheating may not seem like a crime that hurts anyone, the ripple effect of it is dramatic and few are left unscathed. 

But that is now over and done with. It was a mess, but it is done now. The entire high school has learned from this and I for one am more than happy to just move on!

So what is next on the horizon for me?

Well, in four days I fly to Belgium to spend some quality time with my Mom and sister. My Dad will then fly out there to join us at the end of the month once he finishes school. I plan on soaking up as much peace and quiet as I can. I plan on reading and writing every single day and dining on delicious foods and real wine. I intend to take a lot of walks, relax and disconnect myself from social networking for a while. Maybe I'll take up painting, who knows?!

On July 1st I head to Boston where I will eagerly leap into the arms of my beloved friends and family. I feel very disconnected from their lives and know that I owe them a great deal of time to make up for all those moments I missed throughout the year. The dearest people in the world to me are the ones who don't make me feel guilty for spending time away living my dreams. They embrace me after months of being apart and are genuinely happy to see me, as opposed to feeling upset or making me feel guilty that it has been too long. I think that is the true meaning of love -- to love someone unconditionally and not faulting them for their life choices. Just loving them for who they are. 

I am incredibly grateful to have several people like that in my life. It is thanks to them that I never succumb to loneliness and it is thanks to them that I am able to find the strength in times of darkness to continue living my dreams no matter what obstacles may stand in my way. 

Oh summertime.....here I come!!!

End of Year Teaching Reflections (SMART Goals, Self-Assessments and Professional Development Workshops)

This week all teachers were required to submit our ePortfolios: documentation of our annual SMART goals, Self-Assessments, Self-Reflections and Professional Development Learning Opportunities.


I have spent several hours typing up these documents and put so much effort into the writing of them that I figured they should be shared in this unofficial "portfolio" of my life and work as well. I am quite proud of all the work I have achieved this year as a teacher. I consider myself to be quite an introspective person and have taken great care to write in as much detail as possible about the mental processes and emotions I went through this past year. Though I have not been keeping up this blog as frequently as I would have liked, it is my hope that the following "official" reports will supplement my more personal posts in such a way as to paint an even clearer picture of myself and the growth and progress I have made this year.


The following responses and excerpts represent several hours worth of a third year teacher reflecting upon her experiences teaching at an international private school for the first time.

INDIVIDUAL LEARNING GOAL PLAN

SMART Learning Goal:
As an AIS-R new hire, I was told that my SMART Learning Goal this year was to familiarize myself with AIS-R's mission and policies. I aimed to plan and design classroom lessons that fulfilled all the requirements of the AIS-R curriculum and embodied AIS-R's living mission. I identified numerous aspects and qualities of AIS-R's program that I could use in my planning and teaching such as engaging with my students and fueling their inquisitive and curious internationally-shaped minds through in-depth analysis and discussion of relevant and pertinent world issues. I aimed to implement numerous teaching strategies and methods in my classroom in order to fulfill this professional goal. The domain and components of the Framework for Teaching which I believe will help me achieve my goal are Domain 4: a) "Reflection on Teaching", c) "Communicating with Families", d) "Participating in a professional community" and e) "Growing and developing professionally" These four components under domain 4 I believe to be the most essential in terms of helping me connect and better integrate myself and my learning in the AIS-R community at large.


How will you achieve your I.L.G.P?

I will attend every AIS-R faculty meeting and professional development learning opportunities in order to strengthen my bonds with my colleagues and deepen my knowledge and understanding of AIS-R's professional policies, procedures and curriculum. I am particularly driven to better understand TFU (Teaching for Understanding) and learn how to actively use it in my classroom. I will take advantage of as many professional learning opportunities as possible such as Un-Conferences and NESA workshops to further my learning. I will work and collaborate with my colleagues in the HS English department to familiarize myself with their policies, habits and procedures in order to be acclimate and integrate myself into their already successful community. I will know that I have reached my goal when I have gained confidence in implementing AIS-R policies, curriculum and learning.





PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

IB English Literature: Category 1 Training
David Cisek
Summer 2012


The focus of this session was to train me to teach the IB English Literature Curriculum. I was taught about the IBO program in general and then I was re-introduced to the basic syllabus and structure of the IB English Literature curriculum.This summer workshop supported my professional learning goals by helping me to advance my learning and providing me with the essential tools to be a successful and effective English teacher.

I learned about the new changes that have affected the IB English Literature curriculum and I familiarized myself with the various types of assessments required by the IB that I must prepare my students for throughout the year. I was taught various ways in which to present and teach material to my students. I worked with my peers to devise theoretical lesson plans and a unique syllabus for my own classroom. I exchanged strategies and ideas with my peers about ways to effectively communicate the aims and objectives of the IB while constantly engaging students' interest and preparing them to be successful on their IB exams.

My students will benefit from my learning because my confidence in my ability to teach IB English will radiate to my students and will allow them to feel safe and secure in their learning. They will be supported in their academic endeavors and risk-taking. My students will benefit from my own personal experiences with IB English because it provides me with a greater understanding of their own fears/insecurities and struggles with the material and allows me to be able to offer them compassionate as well as useful "tried and true" strategies/feedback to help them succeed.



"Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Lives of Boys" (NESA Conference, Bangkok)
Dr. Michael Thompson
Spring 2013


The focus of this session was to discuss some of the major issues and concerns that both teachers and parents face with male students. Dr. Thompson made accessible his more than 20 years experience of illuminating research about gender equity in schools; in particular the way that boys are impacted. He drew attention to the specific ways in which boys develop and formulate their personal as well as educational life experiences. He also asked each of us to focus our learning around one boy in particular that challenged us in our teaching practice. This allowed us to root our questions in reality and filter our knowledge to apply relevant and useful applications of his research.

I learned so much in this short four-hour workshop. I learned that due to the fact that I am a strong female, I am naturally bias against my male students. My lessons are designed through the lens of my educational experiences and successes as a female and those do not necessarily transfer into successful or meaningful experiences for my male students. In addition, this workshop opened up my eyes to how boys feel as adolescents. The amount of pressure put on them by society is astronomical and boys tend to manage their stress/anxiety in very different ways from girls. Just because a young man is violent/aggressive does not necessarily mean that he is heartless or emotionless, on the contrary...his deep complex emotions could be the very reason he is behaving so cruelly and apathetically.

My students will benefit greatly from the knowledge I attained in this workshop because the information I absorbed from Dr. Thompson has allowed for me to reflect more deeply on my teaching practice and about the ways in which I approach education in general. I realize that I need to give my male students more attention, patience and understand and strive even more diligently to create lessons and opportunities for them that will play upon their strengths and give them a renewed sense of pride in their abilities to read and write. Boys are trained to feel inadequate in reading and writing (as a result of the fact that elementary schools compare them to their female counterparts who are developmentally much more advanced language acquirers at that precious age). With the knowledge I gained in this workshop, I have been inspired to take more care in fostering my male students' abilities to read and write and to provide them with more positive support and encouragement in order to combat the stereotypes against them.


"Does Gender Matter? The Neurobiology of Gender Differences in Learning and Language Disabilities" (NESA Conference, Bangkok)Dr. Susan Grant
Spring 2013


This session was designed to present the latest neuroscientific investigations, achievements and discoveries in learning and sex differences. This session addressed both gender and age as being two critical aspects of neurodevelopment that directly influence learning: "boys and girls behave differently because their brains are wired differently, and this can affect how they learn and when they learn best."

This workshop supports my goal of better understanding my students and learning about the ways in which I can be a better teacher by addressing their inherent differences in learning. This workshop inspired me to think about my bias as a female and the ways in which my teaching methods are more geared towards female-learning; I realize I need to do a better job at employing more differentiated learning strategies to appeal to male-learning strengths.

I learned that there are significant neurobehavioral differences between the ways in which boys and girls approach the world. I learned about how stereotypes about "girls being good with reading and boys being good with math" were formed and the ways in which our educational systems do not support the neurodevelopmental growth of children. Classroom structures and academic material, especially at the elementary school level, do not honor the different ways in which boys and girls are developing mentally.

I learned that most boys struggle with English because have been compared against girls from a young age (girls brains are hard-wired to develop language acquisition earlier and more quickly) and their sense of inadequacy with language stays with them well into their teenage years. I learned that I need to be more supportive of young men in their struggles to grasp language and reading fluency.

Having learned all this incredibly valuable information about neurodevelopmental learning differences between males and females, I feel as though I am now better equipped to design lessons that employ a variety of teaching methods and strategies that appeal to the different strengths of both boys and girls. This workshop inspired me to think about my natural bias as a female and the ways in which my teaching methods are more geared towards female-learning. I realize I need to do a better job at employing more differentiated learning strategies to appeal to male-learning strengths. My students will benefit from this more specific differentiated learning because they will be provided with more opportunities to succeed in my classroom as well as engage with the learning material.


"Powerful Technologies, Powerful Students" (NESA Conference, Bangkok)
Scott McLeod
Spring 2013


This session discussed the numerous ways in which children and adolescents are changing the world and making positive differences in their community through their innovative, creative and powerful uses of technology.The session encouraged teachers to reflect upon the ways in which our traditional teaching practices and ideologies may or may not be supporting our students' abilities to achieve success.

I learned that my personal fears about using technology prevent me from providing opportunities for my students to use technology to reach new heights in their learning and understanding. I learned that I am limited in my knowledge of technology and all the potential it holds. I learned that I need to open up my mind to new ways of thinking and using technology to further learning and my student's abilities to understand, connect with and transform the material I am required to teach them into meaningful experiences.

My students will be given more opportunities to achieve success and they will be able to do so in a variety of ways and methods that allow for them to personally connect with their academic material. In addition, my students will gain a greater sense of "pride in their work" since technology allows for students to communicate their thoughts and ideas beyond the classroom.


TEACHER REFLECTIONS 

Reflections:

As a result of my SMART goal I learned that the AIS-R mission statement is not just an empty promise or stagnant poster on a wall, it is a living mission that inspires me to achieve excellence and constantly push myself to adapt new teaching practices, fuel my passions, engage with students and parents, deepen my knowledge and understanding of my subject and make a difference (not only within this small community, but within the world at large) My learning has significantly changed my practice. Prior to coming to work at AIS-R I was teaching at a Title I inner-city public school for behaviorally challenged high school students. As a young teacher, my main objective was merely "to survive". Due to the fact that my students were so unmotivated I found myself lowering my standards dramatically; it got to the point where I was thrilled if a student produced so much as a single paragraph in lieu of an essay (it was better than nothing, right?) Now that I am an AIS-R Eagle, I find myself constantly inspired to take my students to greater heights and challenge them to achieve success on multiple levels of learning. My own personal happiness and professional fulfillment here has allowed me to work harder than I ever thought imaginable. I am constantly looking for new and exciting ways to teach my students and create significant learning experiences for them To be honest, I'm not sure that my learning this year has significantly improved my student understanding. I have always had a natural gift and ability to connect with children and gain their respect and trust. The AIS-R community is very special and the types of children that attend this school are incredibly supported and motivated to achieve success. The most important thing I've learned this year from my students is that they are capable of so much more than many of us give them credit for. If we raise the bar and expect greatness, they will rise to the occasion. 

Sobering Thoughts

A speaker came to the school today for a drug awareness prevention assembly. Now I consider myself to be quite educated about drugs and the importance of promoting drug prevention practices in schools. For the first five minutes of the speaker's presentation I wasn't really listening since he was talking about various facts and information I've heard numerous times before. But then he said something that resonated with me so powerfully. Something I had never thought about before....

"Though you might not think that you are hurting anyone by buying drugs, the money you spend goes up and up the food chain and the guys at the top of that food chain are very bad people."

Bad people? Top of the food chain? Ok, I know that drug dealers are very bad people that spread illicit and fatal substances and target children and weak-willed people but I thought drug-prevention assemblies were supposed to be about the drugs themselves. After all, aren't drugs to blame for drug-related problems? I thought this was supposed to be an assembly where we show our young and impressionable and image-obsessed teenage students photos of meth addicts without teeth and coke heads without nasal cavities? What was all this about fighting the people behind the drugs? 

Suddenly I had a flash of a memory about a documentary I watched years ago about child opium addicts in Afghanistan. I remembered it being incredibly gut-wrenching, heartbreaking and powerful. Images of poor Afghani farmers and their families struggling and suffering to cultivate hashish and opium crops started racing across my mind and all I could think about was the amount of human destruction that is tolerated in the world in order for millions of people around the world to "get high". 


I decided I needed to learn more. I needed to become more educated about this pandemic. I needed to learn about heroin and hashish addiction among children in Afghanistan...

I began by thinking about my friends; none of whom I would refer to as "drug-addicts", yet the majority of them do enjoy getting high from either marijuana or hashish recreationally  I too never thought of those drugs as anything "serious" or life-threatening in any way. After all, they come from nature and don't cause you to become too messed up. They aren't poison like meth or coke or crack or heroin. They make you kind of tired, but that's about it.. Studies have shown that they don't appear to have any long term damaging health effects. So they're not that bad right? 

Well, perhaps....but what about where those drugs come from? Especially hash -- the drug of choice here in Saudi Arabia. 

As I listened to this drug awareness and prevention speaker all I could picture were small children and their poor families in Afghanistan getting addicted to drugs and suffering to make ends meet and survive for just one more day. I saw children picking the cannabis leaves with their little grubby fingers and rubbing their itchy, blood-shot eyes. I imagined what their homes looked like, I wondered what their dreams were, what their thoughts were....and I couldn't stand it any longer. 

Drugs really do destroy people. 

Though individual drugs may not cause much damage on their own, the global drug industry is one that thrives on the exploitation of humankind. Particularly the uneducated, the under-privileged and the desperate. 

I went onto YouTube later that afternoon to try and find that documentary about child opium addicts in Afghanistan. While browsing the various channels and websites I discovered a wealth of information that both shocked and intrigued me:

The drug trade [in Afghanistan] is flourishing and there is a developing underground epidemic affecting children and families addicted to heroin. 

Food is more expensive than opium. So many families buy opium to make them and their families feel less pain from hunger. 

Half of all drug users in Afghanistan give drugs to their children.

Nothing. Not a single feeling, experience, moment or sensation is worth this. 

Boston

Boston. 

As a child, I called Boston home because that is where my parents told me I came from. Never having lived there, except for a few months out of the year during Christmas and Summer vacations, I struggled to call myself a true Bostonian growing up. I struggled calling myself "an American" growing up. Being born and raised overseas was an extraordinary childhood experience. I developed a keen interest, passion and curiosity about the world at large and, though sheltered, was exposed to a great deal of humankind's inherent evils and beauties at a young and impressionable age. Yet, a part of me always felt incomplete and disconnected because regardless of how well I could blend into various global communities, I never felt as though any place was ever truly "home".

I moved to Boston at the age of eighteen to attend Wellesley College. Wellesley, Massachusetts is a beautiful affluent suburb approximately twelve miles outside of Boston proper. Though I lived and worked and learned in Wellesley, I went into the city every chance I got. Within a few months I felt like a local. I knew the T (public train) system inside and out and could accurately give helpful directions to strangers.  After surviving my first winter there, I finally started to feel comfortable calling myself a Bostonian. For six years, Boston was my home. It is where I fell in love, where I found my dream, where I broke down and rebuilt myself, where I was pushed and challenged, where I achieved success and where I realized what my purpose was going to be in life. 

I spent so many hours of my life walking the streets of Boston. Flashes of memories of walking to auditions, cafe's, yoga studios, friend's apartments, bookstores, shops, restaurants, concerts, sports games and parks all across the city merge into one continuous stream of travel. Visions of myself nestled up in little cafe's in Cambridge, Somerville, and Newbury Street doing course work or writing in my journal about the ways in which my life was changing, feel so vibrant and fresh. 

I lived in Boston during a very poignant time in my life -- when everything felt possible and nothing seemed out of reach. It is in Boston that I dreamed my greatest dreams and began taking those initial steps to making them become a reality. 

Since hearing about the Boston Marathon attacks on Tuesday morning (I was ignorantly asleep in Riyadh on Monday when the bombings actually took place) I have not been able to get Boston out of my mind. No one I knew was hurt or injured or even suffered any personal losses on that day (a miraculous fact considering how many friends and family members I have in Boston) but we were all affected by it: Bostonians and all humans alike. I feel sad, but this tragedy has also stirred up feelings of nostalgia within me. Nostalgia for the good old days of Boston. The days of carelessness, of freedom and independence. Nostalgia for the days of walking down Boylston street without a fear in the world except for whether or not I would miss my bus if I went into one more store...

Whenever I start to get too sad I think about my favorite things in Boston: going to Red Sox games and devouring a Fenway frank even though I don't even like hot dogs; wandering through Harvard square pretending that I am a famous writer and actress; cutting through Boston Commons on my way to the movies or Chinatown; sitting in cafes on Newbury street; running and biking along the Charles...the list goes on and on. 

I know that I will get over this. 
I know that our city will get over this. 
But I don't know if things will ever be able to go back to the way they were. 

Teaching and Life Inspiration!!!!

*Thoughts and reflections from my trip to Thailand -- April 3rd - April 12th

NESA Spring Educators Conference

&

Sister Adventure Beach Vacation

A great deal of my thoughts and reflections about the NESA conference itself were communicated in my official ePortfolio professional development evidence (which can be read in the post End of Year Teaching Reflections). Those reflections, however, were quite "official" and though well-written, were not as personal as I would have liked them to be. The truth is, the NESA conference was incredibly inspirational. Though I was attending hours upon hours of workshops and spent every second of the conference engaged in either note-taking or active discussion, I was extremely energized and felt a renewed sense of purpose and vigor. Every morning I woke up thinking how lucky I was. How lucky I am to have found a professional career that is not only meaningful, inspirational and important in the world -- but one that I genuinely like and am good at. I do not claim to be a perfect teacher, far from it, but teaching is something that I am naturally gifted at. It comes easily to me and I have good instincts for it. 

While attending the conference, I kept thinking about my future and I fantasized about potential grad school programs and more advanced opportunities for me to deepen my knowledge and become an expert in my field. I communicated with my mother quite frequently during my stay in Bangkok (because she too is an "education junkie" and is also invigorated by continuous learning) and shared with her my fears about being a presenter. I told her that everyone around me was an "expert" and knew so much about their various fields of interest. I know a lot about Shakespeare for a person of my age, but I am by no means a Shakespeare "expert". I felt out of my element. I felt unworthy! She coolly reminded me that these experts I was talking with and learning from were just like me at one point in their lives: "they were certainly not attending NESA conferences and working at international schools on their own at the age of 25" she said. True. I know that to become a master of a subject requires years, decades even! I realized that while I may not be the best in my field yet...I am at least taking the right steps to getting there.

Attending NESA was like being in college again. If I had an unlimited and inexhaustible source of income, I would honestly be in college forever. I would get hundreds of master's degrees and doctorates and just spend my days reading and writing and learning. That to me is my image of heaven. 

I don't have a concrete plan right now as to when I'll go to graduate school or where, but I have a lot of ideas in my head and I'm just waiting until I have enough money and time to commit to it 110%. 

Life feels absolutely infinite right now.
So full of opportunities, chances, risks, dangers, challenges and joys. 

Here's to taking on all of it!



Pictures of me presenting my workshop at NESA: 
"De-mystifying Shakespeare"

Work Hard.....Play Hard!

Me and my beautiful sister in our new sarongs

Former Thai Prime Minister (and inspiration), M.R. Kukrit's house

Little Sister loves the little fast tuk tuk boats!

Snake Farm! No fear. 

Sippin and Relaxin

Gazing off into the distance -- what beauty I was surrounded by!  

"Our beach" in Railei

Banana nutella thai pancake....pure heaven

Every morning I woke up and sat alone on this porch and wrote and read and reflected upon how blessed of a life I am living.