Week 15: "My Saudi Boys"

Week 15:

April 12 - 18

A group of Saudi boys are having a pizza party in my classroom. They won a Student Council Super Smash Brother's video game competition and their reward was a pizza party in my room. 

Some things never change. 

These boys are all juniors and being a fly on the wall in my classroom right now is quite a sight to behold. 

I am sitting in the far corner of my classroom doing work (ok, let's be real, I'm looking up potential apartments to rent in NYC and preemptively panicking about how I am going to afford to live the life I have fantasized for myself). The boys are sitting in a circle in the middle of the room, noshing on their greasy pizzas and smiling and chatting in a beautiful cacophony of Arabic and English. As such, I can only pick up pieces of their conversation, but the few phrases and expressions I manage to hear both shock and amuse me. 

"I'm not getting married until I've made my first 3 million!"

"I'm not getting married, I want to buy a house!"

"I want to get married right away!"

"This one guy I know he has two girlfriends and they both know about each other and they're friends!" 

"Guys, who is coming to play football on Saturday?"

And on and on their conversation goes. 

I look out at them and cannot help but smile. These boys are the future of Saudi Arabia. Right now, their worlds are so simple and innocent. True, they may be experimenting with drugs and drinking and dating right now, but on the whole, their lives are innocent. They have no stresses or worries. They do not need to find a job right away, they all come from privileged families. The world is truly their oyster. 

A part of me envies them. As I strain my brain to try and calculate how much money I can afford to spend on rent per month and how much of my savings I will be losing slowly as I adjust to life in one of the most expensive cities in the world, I think about how easy it would be for any one of these boys to put a down payment on a beautiful condo in Manhattan or rent a penthouse in Chelsea. A life of unlimited riches...that must be nice. 

But then I think about my own life and all the beauty and love I have experienced and felt. I have two parents. Two loving parents who work hard, respect one another and genuinely enjoying spending time with my sister and I. For as long as we have lived, my parents have prioritized the needs of my sister and I above all else. They have taken us on beautiful vacations and encouraged us to take risks and pursue our passions. They have showered us with praise and love and gratuitous attention. 

When I think about my adult Saudi male friends, I see a group of very closed-off men. Secretive men. Selfish men. Men that prioritize their own needs over those of the women in their lives (save their mothers...mothers are sacrosanct).

But as I look out at this group of Saudi boys in front of me, it suddenly dawns on me that maybe the reason that they band so close together is because their friends are the only source of love, inspiration, respect and encouragement they have. Do their parents shower them with attention? Probably not. I think Saudi boys are expected to fend for themselves. This must be the reason they develop such selfish natures. Not selfish in the narcissistic sense, but selfish in the "we don't let in outsiders" sense. Family is everything. Their friends are an extension of their family. 

I think back to years ago when I feel for a Saudi boy. I couldn't understand why my affections were not returned. I couldn't understand why no matter how hard I tried, I was never treated the same as his guy friends. 

I get it now. 

It is a form of self-preservation. 

I genuinely love these boys, these funny, emotional, ridiculous Saudi students of mine. I do not agree with many of their views and opinions about the world. I certainly resent the fact that they are so much younger and less experienced than me and yet they have more rights and freedoms than me in this country (about half of this group have cars of their own). But there is something about them that warms my heart. Watching them sit together and talk and socialize and look so natural and at ease is honestly a thing of beauty. Though they would cringe to hear me say this, these boys really do love each other.